Ours was a classic case of opposites attract, a story as old as the Montagues and Capulets, the Sharks and the Jets. Only the trait that threatened to divide us was not social class, race, nor loyalty, but . . . dairy. Though, a seemingly minor difference, the affinity to or abhorrence of milk products runs deep in our lineage.
Jeff's dad grew up on a farm in Minnesota, yet even after leaving to earn degrees in education, he continued to keep company with a bovine crew. Even to this day, though his day job is far from the farm, he continues to milk cows on weekends. Mostly for fun. If one were to peruse my in-laws' magazine racks, one would find not only the requisite Good Housekeeping and Readers Digests, but issues of Hoard's Dairyman, complete with Playboy-esque centerfolds of cows, strutting in their bovine beauty. Then there is the stuffed cow collection. But don't be fooled into thinking they only love cows as people, er, as cows. They love it all: steak, burgers, roasts, milk, cheese, sour cream, butter. Jeff's entire extended family on his mother's side partakes in the ritual of Saturday night hamburgers. That's right; they eat hamburgers EVERY week. Oh yes, that family loves cows.
My family, on the other hand, shares a dairy aversion common to much of the entire continent of Asia.
So when this lactose-intolerant girl met a lover-of-all-things-that-come-from-a-cow guy, someone had to give. Jeff discovered liquid lactase enzyme, similar to Lactaid pills but in a liquid form that can be added directly to milk to digest the lactose prior to consumption. For some reason this was unavailable in the U.S. and must be mail-ordered from Canada. A few drops of liquid lactase into a gallon of milk and presto chango! Lactose-free milk for a fraction of the price of store-bought. It was all smooth sailing for a while there, until we received a batch that was undeniably a dud. The bottled enzyme was no longer functional. Don’t ask me how I know; just trust me on that one. After that, I was a little gunshy to try Canadian mail-order pharmaceuticals again.
Eventually, we came to peace with the fact that though cows' milk and I may never get along, there are plenty of other dairy products to enjoy (with the help of a Costco-sized box of lactase pills). Over the years, what began for me as an aversion to dairy became a tolerance, then a full-fledged love affair, and now somewhat of a hobby as well. Nowadays I cannot imagine a fridge without, say, yogurt and gorgonzola cheese. (As an aside, how many different dairy products can you spot in our fridge above?) In the next few months we will be featuring a do-it-yourself dairy series sharing some of our favorite homemade recipes for yogurt, Neufchatel, mozzarella, goat cheese, and (best of all) ice cream. So buddy up with your local cow and stay tuned . . .
The end result: An totally ridiculous, utterly delicious, guy-with-no-shirt-only-pants-and-undies donut cake. And one very very happy toddler.
